"Oblivious" will be the first word on my tomb stone

At the casual suggestion of an acquaintance, I signed up for a paddling trip in the Canadian Maritimes. I believe it is listed as an "expedition" but I am not sure this really qualifies. Let me see here:

ex·pe·di·tion

ˌekspəˈdiSH(ə)n/

noun

1. 1.

   a journey or voyage undertaken by a group of people with a particular purpose, especially that of exploration, scientific research, or war.

   "an expedition to the jungles of the Orinoco"

   synonyms:

   journey, voyage, tour, odyssey; More
2. 2.

   formal

   promptness or speed in doing something.

   "the landlord shall remedy the defects with all possible expedition"

Ah, I see. This expedition's purpose is certainly training, or say research. Alright then, it is an expedition. As far as research goes, I could say that I am using this for the purpose of exploring or researching my own psyche under pressure. 

Ashley says I'm "brave" to sign up for the trip. I'm not brave, I am "oblivious." In my bumbling way I agreed to pay someone to lead me out into the wilderness of water, a place where I will doubtless be uncomfortable multiple times a day. And I know I will sleep with exhaustion every night, and wake up stiff.

I must go out of my way to seek suffering. If it is the central human condition it would be delivered to me whether I was on expedition or not. Apparently I prefer not to wait for its arrival, rather scheduling it in regular doses.

"No, no, can not stay home and suffer here in relative comfort."