Let me be a Quiet Storm

I wrote the hi-lite in blue a while ago. I wasn't sure where I was going with it but the article made a big impact on me. Sometimes I am not really sure which direction I am going with my life, my art, in my travels. But I have a feeling I am headed somewhere special. Here's what I wrote several months ago:

"I have been very sad lately. I never shook off the depression from the winter. So every step is sometimes a struggle. And the health thing, another problem, sigh.

Read this article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/comic-riffs/wp/2014/05/27/rachel-louise-carson-google-lets-fly-a-doodle-true-to-environmental-writers-nature/

As I read this article I became again convinced that small steps can make great strides. It has become necessary to constantly remind the humans around me of the beauty out side. A life lived in contact with nature is a life well-lived. Or so I believe."

Because of the health thing I have always the thought that the next crushed vertebrae or impinged nerve may be the end of my art, and my paddling. It is ever present in my mind.

When I die I don't want people to say "Oh she was nice, and she kept a clean house," and not have much else to say about me. No. I want to leave a trail of happy memories, challenges met, fears conquered. I want people to say "remember the time we ..." and get excited telling the story and laugh. I sometimes joke that "More Will Than Skill," will be my epitaph. That short statement says I tried, I went, I did it, even if just by the skin of my teeth. 

And I am still returning to the article about the Blue Mind (I'd rather read than listen to a talking head) http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wallace-j-nichols-blue-mind-book-tries-to-prove-the-ocean-washes-stress-away/

I am a Blue Mind pusher, a cocktail waitress for happy brain chemicals. This ties in beautifully with "A life lived in contact with nature is a life well-lived."

It gives me no small satisfaction to feel I'm on the right track.

Some photos from a recent trip, because I know people like to look at pictures. I do too, actually. The blooming of the lotus blossoms on Mattawoman Creek is a thing not to be missed. Much like the ritual viewing of the cherry blossoms, the lotus bloom opens and falls in a flurry of bud, peak, and fade. So tender, sweet, and sad.

DJ, looking like the serious trip leader. He's a good captain, and not at all uptight, as this pic would imply, and Kat who gamely carried my second radio and wore a leader tag

Jim gave a talk on the ecology of the Mattawoman. His group: The Mattawoman Watershed Society, Inc http://www.mattawomanwatershedsociety.org/home 

paddlers listening

the Lorax paddled from the beach at Leesylvania, VA side of the Potomac, to join us. His total for the day was 22 miles. (!) He paddled his Point 65N XO 16

Now we are in to art shots

Petals fall away as the seed pod swells

That Indigo Girls song, Let It Be Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qS9KZGvxhA
Maybe sometimes I want it to be me, and sometimes I am too afraid, not as strong. I, too, tend to peak and fall in a rhythm. If I am not a beacon of light, let me be a quiet storm; one who washes over and carries people to the peaceful waters and contemplative mind.