Apparently I suck at life

If I have one more thing go wrong with this hoopdy of a body I am going to lose my sh*t, no joke. But, lucky for me, Bike Snob NYC (credit Bike Snob NYC) came to the rescue with this inspirational photo:

Hopefully the Bike Snob won't come after me for using his photo. But if he does it will just be another reason to off myself.

This demotivational photo succinctly states how I am feeling about life right now. As the cortisone injection is wearing off, the tear in my left hip has begun to haunt my nights again, I tripped over a purposefully placed obstacle in my office and stress-fractured my right ankle, and whatever the heck is going on with my girlie parts three years post massive horrible surgery is just getting worse, not better.

This morning, as my husband was freaking out over his own health crisis, I briefly wondered if I have enough pills to do myself in. It was a very brief thought. Personally, I'd rather go out getting hit by a Mack truck. While texting. On my bike. Those things can be hard to arrange though; so, for the time being, I will have to continue with my miserable existence. 

I miss my bike and my kayak. The paddling season is drawing to a close while I am trapped in my house and yard watching the leaves fall. The mud season has started, my favorite time of year to bike. I heart the cool, misty weather and rooster tails of mud, stripes up my back, no fenders here sir. My 'cross bike is made for this stuff.

I have been passing the time looking at bike porn on the inter-webs. I guess I am dreaming of a new semi-custom steel framed bike that puts me in a more upright position than my road bike. I put a 45 degree rise stem and had a fitting done on my 'cross bike 10 months ago to achieve this sort of configuration. It worked for that bike but the street bike, no. It would be sacrilegious to Frankenstein my street bike. I use sacrilegious fairly loosely, as my religious views or really lack thereof, do not include bikes.

Sadly, my Ruby Pro is just languishing on my indoor trainer, where I take it out for "spins" whenever my hip allows. It's probably not the world's most expensive trainer bike, but in my world it sure is. What a waste. I need to sell the thing to someone who is going to take it out for real rides and doesn't mind that carbon has a scary high fail rate.

Now that I am well and truly broken and have important body parts, like my spine, held together by plates and screws, I find I am less willing to take risks. Yup, call me Ms Fuddy-Duddy. Soon I will be riding some kind of steel framed cruiser with the big bull horn handle bars and a basket. 

Oh yeah, I need a straw hat to go with my granny glasses and cruiser bike. Screw the helmet. If I get a head injury at this point who cares? I sure as sh*t don't.