thoughts on a lost friend

I am working on the trip pics, never fear, installment number two will likely post during our incoming "blizzard."

I have had a lot of time to think. Water time elicits deep thinking.

I had once had a best friend; many-years best friend. I put up with her bad side as I truly enjoyed her good side. I imagined she felt the same way about me. But actually, it turned out that I was wrong. When she dumped me with no warning nor explanation I was shocked. Really truly deeply shocked and heart broken. I have never felt such grief. It is a grief made real to me on a work-a-day basis.

Never make friends in the work place is a take-away from this episode.

Another take-away is that I have begun to make better personal relationship choices. I think I was very accepting, far too much so, of my friends' and their personality defects. I can think of 5, 10, people with whom I would not now chose to be around. In fact, most of those people I do in fact now avoid. They are part and parcel of why I dislike being around my old reenactment group. Don't get me wrong, there are many good and fine people in that crowd, and some I really really like. However, I chose not to expose myself to the toxic amongst them, and this means I see the whole crowd less. But so it must be.

I feel like I have some real genuine quality friends now. When one of them hurts my feelings or does something I think is not quite right, I am comfortable discussing it with them. And they feel the same about me. It is a comfort to know that if I ruffle feathers or hurt feelings then that person will feel secure enough to discuss it and work it out.

Grown up, grown old? Or grown wise? I chose to be young, and wise. It's a good place.