The candy bar

In early May the husband and I plan to take an instructor development workshop (IDW). We have already paid our dues and are now working our way through the pre-course work. It is mostly reading but we were also assigned to watch all of our instructor's Youtube videos.

We have been hitting the boats working on form, strokes, braces. Pushing our edges, working on rescues, knowing there is much we do not know.

As the date for class creeps closer I have found myself becoming more and more anxious. I know my coach Brian often stresses before workshops. He gets so worked up he has trouble sleeping. This is the first time I have really felt that same way. I feel like a year of symposiums, practice, workshops, and mentoring is going to finally be laid bare to be seen by all.

I am worried.

But just as the worry becomes a bit of a head ache I remember Brian's amazing presentation from the last workshop I attended with him. Dale Williams, Steve Braseden, and Bob Myron held an L5 IDW at Charleston last month. These three very skilled instructor trainer educators (ITEs) set up what was clearly an intense experience for their students. While I was not skilled enough to participate I had the incredible good fortune to get to stay in the house, listen to the academics, debriefs, and presentations. I worked with Ashley Brown on the water those three days and was well-served by her careful tutelage.

Brian's presentation was given on a day when I was on the water. While I was sad to miss it I heard many versions of it during dinner that night, and the next day. As they talked about different parts of his speech I realized that I have heard these things, bit by bit. So many people said "the candy bar, what a revelation!"

Ah, the candy bar and what it has to do with my pre-IDW jitters? You see, we train, and practice, and train, all the while putting the reason we are on the water in the first place below, pushing it to the background of our lives. We cover over, hide under education, the reason we picked up a double bladed paddle in the first place. We may forget, even.

Have you seen that amazing blue of the water and sky, taken together in one long drink? Have you had that moment on the water that takes your breath away? The breezes, and birds, waves, and water fill our hearts with a joy that only some people will be fortunate to know. When the winds turn fierce and the clouds gather, then too we exult. Our spirits rise with the seas and we soar. This is our home, our water-companions are our people.

That is where the candy bar comes in. Have you ever taken a bite of something that was so good you turned to your friend and said "this is amazing! Here, have a bite," and then felt gratified as they delighted in that flavor too? This, this is what we need to remember. That amazing feeling, so warm and wonderful in the sharing, needs always to be tended. Never push this away, or forget that it is the reason you walked to the water's edge in the first place.

Brian's presentation looked like a "soft topic" on the IDW schedule. But all who witnessed it swore they were moved, moved beyond compare, as though they had watched a gifted minister giving an impassioned speech about God's love. I know, I know, bit by bit, Brian has given me this very same sermon.

I give my head ache and worry go over to the universe. What will be in that IDW, will be. But I know that no one can take this candy bar from me. I will share it, yes indeed, giving bites to all who want a taste. It is mine, my joy and passion for the water, my boat, this double bladed paddle. I will nourish this and cherish it. I will share it.

I have Brian to thank for teaching me this most-important lesson. Thanks Coach, it really is a great candy bar.

Hey you, you wanna bite?